STAR TREK (GOLD KEY) ISSUE 62
by Kirk1122
Summary: Crazy plots! Canon breaking! and an overabundance of exclamation points in diologue! these are the continuing comic inspired adventures of the Star Ship Enterprise of the Star Fleet! The first gold key inspired Star Trek fan fic on fanfiction(dot)net- MAMA MIA ! SPACE SEALS AND SEA LIONS!
1. Chapter 1

Captain Kirk: Mama mia! We are surrounded by space seals!

Mr. Spock: agreed it is logical that they're cuteness is a trap!

Ok wait WHAT?! Space seals? The Starship Enterprise is surrounded by space seals?! What the heck is going on here?! And why is James T. Kirk acting out of character here? Find out in this ridiculous fan fic, chronicling the adventures of the Star Ship Enterprise of the Star Fleet!

MAMA MIA ! SPACE SEALS AND SEA LIONS?! Part I

An Exciting Fanfic in the Tradition of Gold Key Star Trek Comics!

Captain's Log Star Date 11:49.1 Star Fleet command has ordered us to report to the Alpha Omega Star System, home to the amazing multicolored frogs!

We join our heroes on the bridge of the Star Ship Enterprise the queen ship of the Star Fleet as they enter orbit around Alpha Omega V! Captain Kirk looks at the TV monitor* (by that I mean "viewscreen"- I'm trying to emulate the gold key Star Trek comics here!) and then glances at Spock.

Captain Kirk: Mr. Spock what do you think of rainbow multicolored space frogs?

Spock glances calmly at Kirk.

Mr. Spock: A biological rarity! Logically, frogs should have fewer colors!

And with that the intrepid star-rovers decide to head to the transporter room and beam down. The Away Team consists of Captain James T. Kirk, Lt.. Maia, Mr. Spock and Dr. McCoy. They head into the transporter room and beam down!

SFX: WRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

A split second later they materialize on the surface! Lt. Maia notices the frogs! (Note: The exclamation points are inspired by Gold Key Star Trek Comics).

Lt. Maia: By the moons of Jupiter! They're really multi-rainbow colored!

Suddenly the frog begins to speak, catching the Star-Rovers off guard!

Frog: HEY YOU! Why do you comment on that. You shouldn't discriminate based on skin color! In fact I am a normal frog! Well normal by our local frog standards. Well, I for one rather like the sound of my croaking voice CROAK CROAK CROAK CROAK CROAK!

Dr. McCoy: Man, that's a chatty frog! He won't shut up!

Dr. McCoy comments on the annoying space-frog. on the other hand...

Mr. Spock: Captain Kirk, according to my calculations, the multi-colored rainbow space-frog can talk continously for 555.20 star hours!

Dr. McCoy is ready with a snappy retort!

Dr. McCoy: Mr. Spock I believe I just said that!

The frog-fatigued, yet brave Star-Rovers continue with their mission, cataloging plant life on the planet. Meanwhile on the queen ship of the Star Fleet some strange things are happening.

LOCATION: The bridge of the Star Ship Enterprise.

Lt. Amanda: Lt. Sulu! There are some oddities being picked up on the scanner!

Lt. Sulu walks over to the science-station and examines the screen of the scanner.

Lt. Sulu: This is an unusual phenomenon! The scanner is picking up seals! Mr. Scott! Materialize the Away Team aboard at once!

Mr. Scott's voice crackles over the intercom-net.

Mr. Scott: /Lt. the teleport chamber needs to cool-down! But, alright, if you can handle the heat!/

LATER...

LOCATION: TRANSPORTER ROOM...

The teleporter hums to life and the away team materializes abroad the Star Ship Enterprise, dripping with sweat, but otherwise in good health. Captain Kirk immediately heads to the bridge!

LOCATION: THE BRIDGE.

Captain Kirk takes a look at the science-scanner and then drops into his seat. He is ready with a plan!

Captain Kirk: Mr. Sulu! Head towards those seal-shaped disturbances at full rocket-speed!

The Enterprise lurches forward into full speed. Suddenly, the great Star Ship screams to a halt! It is surrounded!

Lt. Maia: BY THE RINGS OF SATURN! SPACE-SEALS! OH MY GOSH THEY ARE SO CUTE! LOOK AT HOW THEY FLOP ABOUT ON THEIR STUBBY FINS! AND THOSE WHISKERS! TOOO …. MUCH …. CUTENESS…!

As Lt. Maia swoons, overcome by the cuteness, Dr. McCoy steps in with smelling salts to revive her. In the meantime, the crew stops freezes in place, astounded at space-seals. Only Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock remain ready for action!

Captain Kirk: Mama mia! We are surrounded by space-seals! Too… much… cutene-

Mr. Spock interjects.

Mr. Spock: Agreed. It is logical that their cuteness is a trap! The Vulcan mind, however, is not swayed by cuteness.


	2. Chapter 2

MAMA MIA ! SPACE SEALS AND SEA LIONS?! Part II

An Exciting Fanfic in the Tradition of Gold Key Star Trek Comics!

Captain's Log Supplement: The crew is unable to function due to the overwhelming cuteness of the space seals!

None can look away. They are mesmerized by the TV monitor! The effect has blanketed the entire crew of the Star Ship. Nobody is able to work. With glazed eyes, they softly mutter "Too… much… cuteness." Disgusted by the weakness of his crew and astounded by the Space Seal's ability to cut through the crew's defenses, Captain Kirk heads down to the briefing room with Mr. Spock in tow, to formulate a plan!

LOCATION: BRIEFING ROOM 47-A

Captain Kirk discover that Mr. Spock is only unaffected officer. He asks for his advice.

Captain Kirk: Mr. Spock! It's up to you and me to save the crew from the insidious cuteness of the space seals. If we don't do something we'll be stuck here forever! Any ideas in that cool and logical head of yours?

Mr. Spock calmly returns Captain Kirk's gaze and replies.

Mr. Spock: Obviously the cuteness of the space-seals is overpowering the crew, illogical as that may seem, since the crew are very well trained. It seems that dealing with cuteness, however, was missed in their training. If we harm the adorable space seals, we might lose the crew's respect entirely. I suggest we go down to auxiliary control and attempt to get out of this mess in another way.

Our amazing Star-Rovers then head to the turbolift and towards auxiliary control!

LOCATION: AUXILIARY CONTROL.

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And, now, back to Auxiliary Control:

In Auxiliary Control Captain Kirk tears his gaze away from the space-seals. Though he can manage to overcome their cuteness, it still takes a tremendous effort. Sweat trickles from his brow. Turning toward Spock he issues to accellerate and blast the Star Ship Enterprise out of there!

Captain Kirk: I... can't look! If I look I'll be paralyzed by cuteness! Too… much… cuten- WE HAVE TO GO NOW! Mr. Spock, open all of the throttles! Blast us out at full rocket-speed!

Mr. Spock complies.

Mr. Spock: Aye captain! Fasten your seatbelts!

With the push of a button the queen ship of the Star Fleet zooms into warp speed and rockets forward with the seals in hot pursuit! The adorable space-seals catch up and surround the Star Ship once again! Captian Kirk covers his eyes. But Mr. Spock has a brilliant plan! One that involves space puppies!

Mr. Spock: Captain! We are surrounded again! Logically we should get them to the gamma 6 sector, inhabited by the space puppies! The space puppies cuteness will counteract and cancel the adorableness of the space seals!

Captain Kirk, with his head in his hands, working to maintain consciousness, wonders what could possibly be happening. Meanwhile, Mr. Spock has already made the adjustment, turning the ship toward gamma sector, as the seals flip-flop behind the great Star Ship! Captain Kirk asks again about the plan.

Captain Kirk: Mr. Spock? What is the plan in the first place? Both puppies and seals are cute. This doesn't make any sense to me. It's already too much cuteness. What will happen when we encounter the puppies? I have absolutely no idea what you're doing!

Mr. Spock explains.

Mr. Spock: Exactly! Both puppies and seals are cute so it is quite logical that they will face each other and have a "cute-off"! Through this process, they will cancel out each others' cuteness.

Captain Kirk, dazed, is still wondering about the plan when Mr. Spock fires the retro-rockets, bringing the ship to a complete halt! As he expected both the space-seals and space-puppies start fighting over who is cuter! As their attention turns to one another rather than making eye contact with the Star Ship crew, the crew gradually becomes mobile again. Mr. Spock has saved the day! It's a good thing that Vulcans are immune to cuteness!

Captain's Log Star date 12:0Q:91

We have been freed from the cuteness of the space seals and are now continuing our mission of exploration!

The End!


End file.
